


falling (in the rain)

by differentdiff



Category: BTOB
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Flashbacks, Flower meanings, Fluff, I hope, Light Angst, M/M, Rain, Symbolism, There's some texting, lapslock, minhyuk's like dumb n kwang's like ;0, slight amnesia, some crying some kissing, this became so long i hope y'all enjoy hhdksdajfhsdf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-26 19:26:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13864416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/differentdiff/pseuds/differentdiff
Summary: only for minhyuk do yellow chrysanthemums mean sorrow and lost love





	falling (in the rain)

**Author's Note:**

> brbrrruhski i always say this but: this is my longest fic yet
> 
> me ? minkwang biased ? n then ship minkwang ? what a c o i n k i d i n k
> 
> i started this like ?? late november/early dec n i was originally gna try to finish this up on valentine's day but :""")) but it's here now so heyyyy there was a sunshower earlier today i love rain so much hope y'all enjoyyy
> 
> (( title's from purple rain by our main star minhyuk ; 00 ))

“ah, shit.” 

 

minhyuk sighed at the sight of rain. he didn’t have an umbrella since he thought the clouds he saw in the morning would recede by the end of the day, but the sky is still grey and is even pouring. he glances at the empty umbrella bin near the doorway, sighing again.  _ might as well just run it to the bus stop _ , he thinks, and steps into a run with his briefcase over his head.

 

running, his suit has become drenched — his briefcase doesn’t make for a really good cover. as he gets into the busier part of the sidewalk, he slows into a light jog and looks around. it seems so gloomy with all of the black and grey umbrellas. even though he and many of the people on the street are off the clock, he can still feel the atmosphere of bustling salarymen, trying to keep up professional looks. somehow, it seemed so much more melancholy.

 

but, amidst the dark sea of umbrellas, minhyuk finds one stark white umbrella, lined with yellow chrysanthemums. memories rush back to him in an almost detailed blur, and he steps back into a run towards that umbrella.

 

(( out of all the other small character umbrellas or plain black umbrellas, this one had caught his eye the most. the white colour of it seemed so pristine, and the yellow flowers that line it —chrysanthemums, he thinks — looked so real, like he could touch it. it was art in and of itself. 

 

minhyuk stepped under the umbrella, dropping his schoolbag down to his side. he was popular enough around the school for being a kind and playful person, so he imagined that even if it was a little rude to intrude, the person wouldn’t totally mind.

 

“hope you don’t mind if i join you under here,” he greets.

 

“oh!” the person jumps “-you surprised me! you’re soaking wet too!”

 

minhyuk laughed and turned to look at the person, whom he recognised to be eunkwang seo. they’d been in the same class for the past two years, but minhyuk had never really paid any attention to him. not that he ignored eunkwang, he just never really thought their paths would ever cross, especially not like this. he guesses that fate isn’t always so cut and dry, though.

 

“where you headed?” eunkwang asks.

 

“the bus stop on 5th,” minhyuk replies.

 

“oh, me too! which bus?”

 

“4:00”

 

“me too!” eunkwang exclaims, seeming really excited, “i can’t believe i never noticed you!”

 

_ me neither _ , minhyuk thinks, but he only chuckles in response.

 

“wanna sit on the bus together?” eunkwang asks.

 

“sure, if you want to. we should get to know each other before that, though, right?”

 

“oh, i already know a lot about you, minhyuk lee. everyone’s always talking about you, after all. soccer star, basketball star, baseball genius, dance club ace, et cetera. i even know your birthday, and you’re literally only a week younger than me! most importantly, i think, i know you’ve been in the same class as me since first year, so that’s something.”

 

minhyuk laughs again, even though there was nothing funny being said. “you’re pretty spot on, eunkwang seo, but all i know about  _ you _ is your name, year, and class. mind telling me more about yourself?”

 

“gladly!” eunkwang agrees with a big smile. minhyuk takes a mental picture of it.

 

while waiting for the bus, minhyuk learns more about eunkwang, like how his birthday really  _ is _ only a week before minhyuk’s, and how he’s a part of choir as a tenor, but he sometimes stands in as an alto when he needs to; minhyuk doesn’t really know what that means, but he nods as if he does. eunkwang also doesn’t do many athletic extracurriculars — he tried soccer once, but decided he liked it more as a game between friends than working competitively for a goal, though that was also fun. he likes going to karaoke with his friend, changsub, and spends the rest of his time studying or playing video games.

 

minhyuk focuses on everything eunkwang says, mostly focusing on his smile. eunkwang smiles as he speaks, and to minhyuk it was kind of cute. he also laughs at different things eunkwang says or does, even if they’re not funny. it’s weird, and he feels weird, but he doesn’t think he minds.

 

by the time they end up at their stop, minhyuk and eunkwang have already gotten to know each other pretty well. 

 

“let’s talk more at school, okay?” eunkwang proposes.

 

“yeah, okay,” minhyuk responds, still giggling behind his hand about something eunkwang said on the bus. 

 

with a wave and an open promise, they go their separate ways. minhyuk feels lighter, almost as if the sun had just shined through the clouds. he wonders if that’s why he liked the yellow flowers so much. ))

 

“hope you don’t mind if i join you under here,” minhyuk says, stepping under the white umbrella. another rush of nostalgia hits him, and he takes a deep breath.

 

“oh!” the person jumps, all too familiar, “you surprised me! you’re soaking wet too!”

 

instead of laughing like he remembers, minhyuk gulps. he takes another deep breath, looking straight ahead.

 

“where you headed?” the person asks.

 

“the bus stop on 30th,” minhyuk replies.

 

“oh, me too! which bus?”

 

“5:30”

 

“me too!” the person exclaims, making minhyuk feel a pain in his chest he hadn’t felt in years, “do you always take that bus?”

 

sighing in relief at the different remark, minhyuk says, “yeah, i work at a building back on 28th and pontescue, so this stop’s close enough.”

 

“ohh, i work around there too, so i know how you feel.” 

 

they reach a crosswalk and stop at the light. minhyuk can feel his chest hurting again, wondering if this person was the same one he’s thinking of. taking a risk, he turns to see the person. 

 

minhyuk recognises him as eunkwang seo. 

 

(( that rainy day was the only one for the week, so minhyuk was lucky to not need an umbrella the next day, the sun shining indefinitely.

 

when he gets to homeroom, he sees eunkwang in his seat. he waves at him, calling out a “good morning, eunkwang!”. eunkwang looks up and waves back, responding with a “good morning to you too, minhyuk!” minhyuk laughs at his enthusiasm.

 

a friend bumps into him, greeting him and distracting him for only a moment. he glances at eunkwang while he talks to his friend, finding that eunkwang has already found himself occupied with something else. a pang goes through his chest, but he shakes it off, turning his attention to his friend. 

 

after that, minhyuk and eunkwang only greet each other when they can, never approaching the other for an actual conversation. even though they agreed to talk, they never do. ))

 

“eun… eunkwang?”

 

eunkwang turns to minhyuk, seeming surprised. “do we know each other?”

 

minhyuk’s shoulders feel heavier at that. “it’s me, minhyuk? minhyuk lee? from… we went to high school together? same class…” he stops talking as the polite smile fades off of eunkwang’s face.

 

“sorry i don’t… i can’t remember you,” eunkwang says, and minhyuk feels like buckling at the weight of his words.

 

the crosswalk sign flashes, signalling for them to move. eunkwang looks back ahead and minhyuk stumbles along, still looking at eunkwang in the corner of his eye.

 

eunkwang speaks up, “it’s not that i just forgot, by the way, there’s a reason for it. it sounds a little sad, and i suppose it is, but you’re not the only person i forgot, don’t worry.” he says it all with a straight face, and somehow that makes minhyuk feel worse.

 

when they reach the bus stop, they wait in silence. eunkwang’s umbrella is folded up and wrapped.  _ nearly twelve years later _ , minhyuk thinks,  _ and he’s still using the same umbrella. _

 

their bus arrives only a few minutes late. eunkwang gets on before minhyuk and saves a seat for him, looking at him expectedly. even though he’s reluctant, minhyuk sits down quickly as people continue to fill the bus. eunkwang doesn’t speak until the bus starts up.

 

“a little over eight years ago, i was in a car accident,” he says. minhyuk’s attention snaps to him, but eunkwang is looking out the window. “physically, i only came out with a broken leg, a sprained wrist, and serious whiplash, but i also had a lot of trauma right-” he points to the back of his head “-here, and the consequence was that i lost all my memories from middle school to high school. at the time, i basically lost almost half of my life. i ended up dropping out of college and looking for a job, and i’ve been working ever since to pay off anything i owed. it seems like a weird thing to do when you lose your memories, but my family and my best friend were the only ones who i thought i needed to remember so i… but i guess that wasn’t really true.” eunkwang turns to look at minhyuk, who stares back with wide eyes.

 

minhyuk opens his mouth to say something, but he closes it again, nothing coming to mind.

 

eunkwang gives him a small smile, one that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “so now you know i didn’t, like, purposefully forget you or anything. i’m a forgetful person, but i’m good with faces, so no need to worry.” he pats minhyuk’s hand and goes back to looking out the window.

 

the rest of the ride is silent, as eunkwang gives minhyuk time to stew, even though minhyuk is really nothing but speechless. eunkwang’s somewhat weak reassurance didn’t help much.

 

the bus stops and the both of them stand up. they look at each other in surprise, eunkwang smiling again like before. minhyuk stares for a second, wondering how the atmosphere could stay light with the story the other just told, but he turns and steps along the aisle quickly.

 

getting off the bus, the two of them stay and watch the bus leave. it gets far enough down the street for it to look tiny before eunkwang turns to minhyuk and speaks up.

 

“do you… do you want to exchange… phone numbers? to catch up?” he asks.

 

minhyuk hesitates, his mouth slightly falling open. pursing his lips, he digs into his pockets for his phone and holds it out, unlocked. he smiles, awkwardly, not really wanting to say anything.

 

lighting up, eunkwang takes out his own phone and unlocks it, replacing minhyuk’s phone with it. minhyuk types in his contact slowly, glancing at eunkwang every other second. eunkwang finishes it quickly, minhyuk following seconds after; minhyuk simply put his name as is, nervous that doing anything else would be overstepping. eunkwang looks happy, though, when he looks at his phone, so he feels a little at ease. 

 

“i’ll contact you soon, then!” eunkwang says, looking up with a big grin. he waves eagerly, starting to walk backwards, with a “see you, minhyuk!”

 

“bye,” minhyuk responds with a small wave, feeling a little unnatural. 

 

he watches as eunkwang takes a few steps backwards and waves with two hands, turning on his heel to walk away properly. minhyuk stands there, continuing to look at eunkwang’s receding back. he shakes his head and pounds on his chest, hoping to get the weird feeling out. he looks down at his phone to see eunkwang’s contact name and smiles slightly. his phone then pings, making him jump. he opens up the text, seeing it 

 

**eunkwangie ☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆**

>> let’s be close from now on yea ?

>> :D

 

minhyuk pounds his chest again, the weird feeling coming back to him taking a deep breath, he replies — simple “yea, alright”, which makes him feel a little embarrassed later on, but it suffices for now

  
  
  
  
  


(( as the new semester came, the alphabetical seating for their homeroom changed so that it was now random. minhyuk ended up being sat next to a wall near the back, while eunkwang was sat somewhere close to the front. it led to an angle where minhyuk would always see the back of eunkwang’s head every time he looked just below the board.

 

it made for a problem since, somehow, only the back of eunkwang’s head made for a big distraction. minhyuk couldn’t pay attention in class well anyway, but eunkwang made it harder for him since minhyuk couldn’t help but notice him. eventually, it led to him not really  _ stopping _ in noticing eunkwang — during breaks, at lunch, before class, etc. 

 

eunkwang made to be a very interesting person to watch, especially when paired with changsub lee. changsub was from another class and had a rep for being more on the delinquent side, but he and eunkwang made for a really funny duo. eunkwang laughed at a lot of things, but he laughed more with changsub. minhyuk was sort of thankful to him for being a funny guy, even if he didn’t mean to be, since it meant he could see more of eunkwang’s smile.

 

as time went by, minhyuk found himself thinking about eunkwang and his big smile sometimes. he’d think about it during practice, or when he’s at home eating, or during class when he’s boring holes into the back of eunkwang’s head. sometimes became all the time, and minhyuk soon became a much more spacey person.

 

“what’s up with you, minhyuk?” his friend said one day after a basketball game, seeming a little fed up, “you’ve been spacing out so much and now we owe jack and his buddies ten bucks each. we don’t usually lose to that kinda bet, man.”

 

“i don’t know,” minhyuk says, starting to play with the water bottle in his hands, “it’s nothing, i think.”

 

“you think?”

 

“yeah, i mean… there’s something on my mind but… ‘s not really-”

 

“hey, you know you can tell me anything, right? what’s got our b-ball star so out of his game?”

 

minhyuk quirks his lips. “well… here, riddle me this: what do you call it when someone... you can't stop looking at someone and they're always on your mind and somehow you always wanna see them and-"

 

“dude-” his friend interjects, “-i’m pretty sure you call that a crush.”

 

minhyuk crushes the bottle in his hand, making the plastic crackle.  _ crush? _ “what- are you- no…”

 

“yeah, dude. haven’t you had crushes before?”

 

“of course but…”  _ not like this, no, _ he thinks. 

 

his friend sits down next to him and puts an arm around his shoulders with a smug look. “so, minhyuk, who’s the lucky girl?”

 

minhyuk throws the water bottle into his friend’s lap and walks away, fuming with thoughts. he hears his friend yelling after him, but he just keeps walking. ))

 

“mr. lee?”

 

minhyuk looks up when he hears the name. one of the resident assistants is peeking through the door. he signals for her to come in, and she opens the door all the way and steps into his office.

 

“morning. yuki,” he greets.

 

“good morning. did you get the memo about your new secretary?”

 

“hm? no, didn’t know until you told me.”

 

“well, surprise, then. he’s supposed to be really good, since they scouted him out from a small office down the street, so hopefully he’ll be a helpful addition to the workplace.”

 

“oh, that’s great. is he here now?”

 

“mhm, just outside. i’ll bring him in and introduce him to you, and you can take it from there.”

 

minhyuk smiles, “alright.” yuki smiles back before leaving through the door. in the minute that she’s gone, minhyuk wonders what kind of person they’ll be. he expects someone that has glasses, or someone that looks rather average.

 

what he doesn’t expect is for eunkwang to come through the door.

 

“oh!” eunkwang calls, “it’s you!” the pen minhyuk had in his hand falls out.

 

“you two know each other already?” yuki asks.

 

“yeah, we met yesterday! turns out we take the same bus!” eunkwang answers with a grin.

 

“how convenient! i guess there’s not much need to introduce you, then.” yuki turns to minhyuk. “you can take it from here, i’ll be around the office if you need anything.” she leaves. and eunkwang and minhyuk are left alone.

 

they stare at each other for what seems like hours before eunkwang speaks. “this is certainly unexpected, isn’t it?”

 

“yeah…” minhyuk says slowly, “you could say that.”

 

“well, for formality’s sake, i’ll introduce myself. i’m eunkwang seo, and starting today i’ll be your new secretary. it’s nice to meet you, again.” eunkwang holds out his hand.

 

“ah, right-” minhyuk takes his hand and shakes it “-i’m minhyuk lee, advertising team leader. nice to meet you, too.”

 

eunkwang’s big smile from earlier has become something less eager. he looks from side to side, then looks back to minhyuk. “so where should i situate myself?”

 

“in the corner at that desk should be fine,” minhyuk stutters, pointing. 

 

“alright then,” eunkwang nods, “i left my stuff with yuki, so i’ll just get that really quick. i’ll be right back.” he nods again and leaves quietly.

 

minhyuk lets out a breath and feels his shoulders relax slightly. he rubs his face with his hands, frustrated with how he acted. he’s a friendly boss that should welcome new employees warmly, especially if they were going to be working close to him from now on. and yet, he was pretty much frozen and at a loss for words. he’ll probably keep acting like that, too, since it’s eunkwang.

 

eunkwang comes back almost as quietly as when he had left, which seemed to contradict his loud personality. minhyuk would guess that the polite smile and the more quiet demeanour could be from years of working, or maybe it’s just something about eunkwang he’d never noticed, or something he grew into. with him back in the room, minhyuk could only focus on him as he settled at his desk. 

 

the angle made it so that minhyuk could see the back of eunkwang’s head. he knows he’s staring, but just like the past, he can’t really stop. he notices how quietly eunkwang places his things on the desk, as if the noise could distract minhyuk more than he already is himself. minhyuk bites his fist, grimacing. when eunkwang finishes, he turns to minhyuk with the same polite smile. minhyuk composes himself as much as possible as he walks towards him. 

 

eunkwang’s eyes move all over the place, like he’s thinking about what to say. he eventually looks minhyuk in the eye, making minhyuk gulp. “funny how all this worked out, huh?” eunkwang says. “we work in the same office, we take the same bus, we even went to high school together. we’re probably the same age too, right?”

 

“yeah, we’re… the same age, yes,” minhyuk responds.

 

eunkwang’s smile widens slightly. “well then, since we’re spending our days together, let’s keep being close! it must’ve been a little lonely here in the office rather than in a cubicle with other people, right? so let’s keep each other company, yeah?”

 

minhyuk nods and tries to smile himself. “right, let’s… do that.”

 

eunkwang lights up, “alright! with that, i’ll get to work! what do you have for me, mr. lee?”

 

a laugh bursts out of minhyuk’s mouth at the sound of “mr. lee” coming from eunkwang. he covers his mouth with one hand, face getting slightly more heated, and grabs a planner. he hands it to eunkwang, “here, if you could take notes on this and make up a schedule for the next month…”

 

“can do, mr. lee!” eunkwang shouts with a salute. minhyuk stops himself from laughing by using his other hand to keep it in. 

 

eunkwang doesn’t leave, keeping his hand in a salute. minhyuk looks at him questioningly, and eunkwang puts the planner to his mouth, stage whispering, “you need to salute back.” minhyuk can’t help but smile, and he shortly salutes back. eunkwang’s hand returns to his side as he laughs and walks back to his desk

 

minhyuk sees eunkwang get to work straight away. he bites his lip, forcing himself to look away. running his hands through his hair, he tries to focus back on his work, only partly succeeding. 

  
  
  
  
  


minhyuk looks up when eunkwang knocks his desk lightly. “yes?” he questions.

 

“i decided to take a lunch break right now, so i was wondering if you wanted to eat lunch with me? or if you wanted me to bring you something?” eunkwang explains, smiling with expectant eyes.

 

“uhh-” minhyuk checks his watch “-i’m- uh- mm…” he stammers, looking for a way to turn down eunkwang nicely. a part of him would  _ love _ to go out for lunch, but another part of him doesn’t think his heart can handle that just yet. “i don’t… really eat lunch…?” he ends up saying.

 

eunkwang gasps, “you can’t just not eat lunch! it’s an important part of the day! just like how you eat after you wake up and you eat before you sleep, you should eat something in the middle! something small, even a snack, at least!” his eyebrows furrow and he goes around the desk to minhyuk, pulling out minhyuk’s chair. eunkwang takes his hand and pulls him up, getting in close. “come with me, you have to!”

 

eunkwang sets him with a fiery look in his eyes, and minhyuk gulps. eunkwang’s warm hand still holds onto his as they stare at each other. minhyuk can feel his face get hotter. “okay!” he says, stepping back to put distance between them, “okay, i-i’ll go with you.” 

 

minhyuk feels eunkwang squeeze his hand as he brightens up with a big grin. he lets go to make two fists, holding them up in cheer. “alright! let’s go!” he exclaims, starting for the door. minhyuk sighs and follows along.

  
  
  


(( at some point, minhyuk had stopped going to the cafeteria for lunch, instead staying in the classroom. his friends stayed behind too, thinking he just wanted a change of scenery since he sat by a window, but it was really because eunkwang (and changsub) stayed in the classroom. 

 

he kept up conversations with his friends, of course, but eunkwang was distracting with every satisfied noise he made when eating. it was loud and changsub always scolded him to just eat quietly. minhyuk would smile at their exchange, even if he was engaged in another conversation.

 

minhyuk and eunkwang would stay in the same seats they sat in for class, but minhyuk could tell that eunkwang talked with his mouth full. he thought eunkwang was lucky changsub did too (he unfortunately had to see him actually do it, since changsub would sit on a desk, facing eunkwang at an angle that minhyuk could also see his face), since changsub wouldn’t say anything about that. 

 

he wondered what other habits eunkwang had when eating, if there were any more. he also wondered if eunkwang would notice anything about his own eating habits, maybe habits he didn’t know of himself. he thought about his squirrel cheeks — girls would say he looked cute, and his friends always said he just looked funny, so he wondered what eunkwang would say.

 

in the end, he never made an effort to find out, since something kept him from ever sitting with eunkwang. ))

 

minhyuk managed to convince eunkwang to just eat in the building’s cafeteria, wanting to stay somewhere familiar just in case. they ordered and sat down quickly.

 

“ahh,” eunkwang sighed, “this is  _ so _ good.” he looked as if he was about close to tears just taking one bite. minhyuk can’t figure out how the katsudon could be so heavenly, but his own hamburg steak is also pretty good. still, he smiles at eunkwang’s enthusiasm. eunkwang goes for another bite of meat and breathes through his nose in satisfaction.

 

minhyuk stops chewing his own food at the noise and looks at eunkwang. it’s not exactly a pleasant sight, but he still feels a little happy, maybe like how a parent looks at their child eating. 

 

eunkwang looks up at him when he realises he’s being stared at. minhyuk’s eyes widen as he points. “your cheeks are all full!” he laughs, “like a chipmunk!” 

 

minhyuk finishes chewing and swallows. “people usually say squirrel, but that works,” he says. he feels a little embarrassed.

 

“ahh, right, right.” eunkwang takes another bite, and another. he makes his cheeks full and smiles. minhyuk snorts, making eunkwang almost spit out his food. luckily, most of it stayed in his mouth and he swallowed it safely. when he looks minhyuk in the eye, they both start laughing.

 

“by the way,” eunkwang says when they calm down, “mind if i have a bite of that?” he points at minhyuk’s steak.

 

“hm? sure,” minhyuk replies. he cuts off a piece and stabs it with his fork. when he looks up, eunkwang’s mouth is open. minhyuk’s heart skips a beat. 

 

after a few seconds pass, eunkwang closes his mouth with a laugh. “it’s really scary to have my mouth open like that for a long time, you know,” he explains.

 

minhyuk chuckles and passes him the fork. eunkwang takes it and eats the steak, leaning back with a content sound and sliding the fork out of his mouth. he licks his lips as he passes the fork back to a blank minhyuk. “mm really good-” he gives a thumbs up “-maybe i should get that next time i come here.”

 

“maybe,” minhyuk says, staring at his fork. eunkwang starts eating his own food again, and minhyuk follows, more aware of how he’s putting the food in his mouth.

  
  
  
  
  


(( eunkwang packed up quickly and left just as fast. no matter how early minhyuk started packing, eunkwang always ended up leaving earlier than him. 

 

his friends would keep coming to him as soon as class ended, which was one thing. another thing was that the teacher would notice him packing up early and make him unpack. perhaps that was part of the reason he wasn’t able to take the opportunity to talk to eunkwang.

 

however, he’d always see eunkwang at the bus stop. that should’ve been enough for him to just stand next to him and start a conversation, but it wasn’t. maybe it was because eunkwang would look serious or contemplative, and minhyuk didn’t want to interrupt his train of thought. maybe it was because changsub would be with eunkwang every now and then, and minhyuk didn’t want to interrupt the conversation. maybe it’s because eunkwang never saw him and gave a sign that he’d still want to talk to minhyuk.

 

maybe it was just minhyuk making excuses. ))

 

in all honesty, minhyuk would work overtime. but he values his freetime as much as he does work, so he doesn’t. he gets ready to leave when it hits 5:00, saying goodbye to all the employees he can. sometimes he feels bad knowing some of them have to work more hours than him, but it’s a bit of a comfort to know they’re paid for every hour — he’s grateful to the higher ups for that.

 

eunkwang, being his secretary, works the same time minhyuk does, so minhyuk sees eunkwang finish up a lot earlier than him. by the time it’s five till, eunkwang has his coat on and everything packed. even then, he stays at his desk, stretching, and doesn’t get up from his seat until minhyuk is done finishing up himself. 

 

he walks towards minhyuk as minhyuk puts on his coat. they exchange smiles and eunkwang says, “we can walk to the bus together, right?”

 

minhyuk wraps his coat around himself. “yeah, of course,” he says, he picks up his briefcase and walks from behind his desk. eunkwang goes to hold out the door open for them, and they leave the office together.

 

for every person minhyuk parts with on their way down, eunkwang waves and makes them smile. minhyuk can tell some are surprised to see him with someone, since most people aren’t as timely with leaving and minhyuk goes alone. 

 

minhyuk himself is a little nervous about it. even if they walked together just the day before, minhyuk thinks about all the missed chances he had in high school and feels a little heavy. he doesn’t know if it would be awkward if eunkwang could remember that time.

 

when they get to the building entrance, eunkwang gets his umbrella from the bin. only then does minhyuk realise that it was raining outside, looking through the glass doors to see the same gloomy setting as yesterday and puddles splashing with raindrops. he looks at eunkwang who looks back with a smile. “lucky i came with you, huh?”

 

minhyuk laughs softly at that and nods. he takes a deep breath before walking towards eunkwang, getting closer when they walk out and eunkwang opens up the umbrella. minhyuk sees the chrysanthemums again and the memory of that rainy day plays in his mind again.

 

“these flowers,” he says, though he doesn’t know if eunkwang will hear him through the rain or bustle of the street, “they’re chrysanthemums, right?”

 

“yeah, why?” eunkwang replies in a louder voice.

 

minhyuk speaks at the same level, “they’re yellow… why yellow chrysanthemums?”

 

“hmm, well, my brother told me my grandmother gave it to me after i graduated middle school, and that that year i was obsessed with yellow because it was my lucky colour. i guess my grandmother thought the flowers were pretty and it was just nice that they were yellow too. i’ve just been using it ever since, i guess.”

 

minhyuk is silent for a moment. he takes another deep breath and says, “you know… do you know what yellow chrysanthemums mean?”

 

“no? what do they mean?”

 

(( minhyuk looked up the meaning of the flowers on eunkwang’s umbrella as soon as he came home. he was right about them being chrysanthemums, but he was surprised to see what the yellow ones meant. ))

 

“they mean…” minhyuk clears his throat. “they mean… lost love... and sorrow.”

 

(( when he graduated and went home with his parents instead of by bus, he thought about eunkwang and the bus and that rainy day. he planned to confess come graduation day, but he couldn’t. he likes to think it was because he couldn’t find eunkwang, or that eunkwang was surrounded by people, and neither he or his parents could wait that long.

 

then again, those are just more excuses.

 

he thinks back to the meaning of the flowers on eunkwang’s umbrella — the yellow chrysanthemums. it must’ve been a sign, especially with the rain, that it would have never worked out. 

 

minhyuk thinks he’ll never see eunkwang again. the chances were probably slim, and the flowers were probably right. neglected love, lost love, slowly diminishing… 

 

he hopes that, soon, he’ll be able to forget about eunkwang and his umbrella. ))

 

eunkwang gasps softly. “oh, i never knew… it sounds so sad. ah, but!” he brightens up “maybe because yellow is my lucky colour, it’ll counteract the sorrow! maybe instead of lost love, it’ll be redeeming love or finding love! and instead of sorrow, it could be contentedness, or happiness!” he glances at minhyuk from the corner of his eye before looking back ahead. “right, it should be something positive. the worst thing to happen to me since having this umbrella was the car accident, and even then when my family and my friend worried, i was still able to make them smile. surely those sad things aren’t for me.”

 

minhyuk looks at eunkwang, who smiles confidently. he thinks,  _ if they aren’t for you, then they’re for me. _ he feels a pang in his chest at that and breathes in again. 

 

the rest of their walk, as well as their bus ride,  is filled with small talk they talk mostly about work, but some things are brought up about themselves personally. in the back of minhyuk’s mind, though, are the flowers, and he feels a heaviness in his chest.

  
  
  


“what’s up with you?” ilhoon asks when minhyuk arrives in their apartment with a sigh. minhyuk gives him a look, to which ilhoon shovels another handful of popcorn in his mouth.

 

“it’s nothing…” minhyuk says, “...or, well, it’s something, but…” he sighs again and goes to sit on the couch next to ilhoon, swinging his briefcase onto the coffee table. ilhoon pauses the movie on the tv and turns to minhyuk.

 

“is it anything you need to rant about?” ilhoon asks.

 

“is peniel here?” minhyuk counters.

 

“no, but he should be home soon. want some popcorn?”

 

minhyuk stares at the bowl as ilhoon holds it out. he takes a few with another sigh. “you really wanna hear?”

 

“no,” ilhoon replies honestly, putting down the remote, “but i’ll listen anyway since you do that for me.”

 

minhyuk looks at him with big eyes. ilhoon stares back blankly. “thank you, my friend,” minhyuk lilts.

 

“i’ll ignore you as soon as you’re done, okay,” ilhoon responds with a disgusted face.

 

minhyuk laughs and adjusts himself to be comfier, taking off his coat and pulling his legs to himself. “well,” he starts, “there’s this new guy they made my secretary today. and, like, you know how back in college i’d always come home with someone’s number and no matter how hot they were i’d never call any of them?”

 

“yeah, which is weird because i know some of them were super hot, but go on.”

 

“i never called any of them because i always had someone else in mind, someone i met in high school. before this person, i’d fall in love really easily, like i remember my first love was this girl back in like first grade that was super sporty, but i fell out of love when she pushed me during a game. it was easy like that before he came along.”

 

“and he’s your secretary?”

 

“bingo. it’s been nearly twelve years since i met him and ten since i saw him last, and yet yesterday, we met again almost the exact same way we did all those years ago. he even has the same umbrella! the guy i’ve spent years crushing on is now my secretary, even though i never talked to him seriously after we met in high school. what’s worse is that apparently he lost all his memories of high school in a car accident, so he remembers nothing about me, but i remember him so vividly. it just… it feels so weird and…” minhyuk sighs, “i don’t know. i guess everything’s just coming back to me and, just like before, it seems so… one-sided.” 

 

he looks at ilhoon, who has an unreadable expression on his face. there’s a pause before ilhoon speaks up, “you know, i think it’s fate.”

 

“fate?”

 

“mhm. like, think about it: ten or so years have passed since you guys met, but you guys met in the same way twice, and you said back then you guys didn’t talk after you met, but now you guys have to talk because you work closely with each other. that guy lost his memories, so now you don’t have to deal with the awkwardness of knowing you never talked in high school. fresh new start, a new chance. you should just take it and confess everything to him-” ilhoon eats another handful of popcorn “-or wait another decade or so until God gives you another chance. your call.”

 

minhyuk hears him play the movie, but he thinks about it. he compares ilhoon’s words to eunkwang’s. maybe the flowers  _ are _ a good sign. maybe back then all that happened was that he lost his chance, but now he has another. he should take his crush by the reigns and confess as soon as possible, while he’s still young. maybe…. 

 

as he relaxed against the couch, he closes his eyes. he hears the door open minutes later. “is he asleep?” peniel whispers, and ilhoon probably shrugs or nods. he also probably called him to the couch, as minhyuk feels the couch dip next to him. a hand pats at his shoulder before sliding away, and that’s when minhyuk starts to feel sleepy. 

 

he sleeps with a heavy mind to the sounds of a movie and popcorn being eaten.

  
  
  
  
  


minhyuk blearily opens his eyes after what feels like a few minutes, though he can tell it’s already the next morning. he rubs them and blinks a few times, then turns on his side. when he sees a face staring right at him, he jumps.

 

the person sips on his coffee with an amused smile. he looks just as drowsy as minhyuk feels, and it takes him a second to realise that the person he’s looking at is changsub lee.

 

“you-!”

 

“oh?” changsub says around the straw, “you remember me?”

 

minhyuk stares at him for a second before answering. “y-yeah…”

 

changsub takes the straw away from his mouth and smiles again. “me too. didn’t know ilhoon’s other roommate was the school star minhyuk lee.”

 

“you know ilhoon?” minhyuk asks while shifting to sit up.

 

“mhm, we work at the same company. he lost a bet yesterday so he has to drive me there, and luckily me and eunkwang live closeby.” minhyuk’s eyes widen at that, making changsub snort. “big coincidence, ain’t it? i work with your roommate, and you work with my roommate.” he pauses there, the smile sliding off his face as he stares at minhyuk. he sighs, “can i just tell you what was on my mind as soon as i saw you?”

 

“sure?”

 

“promise you won’t be uncomfortable?”

 

“that’s gonna depend on what you’re going to ask.”

 

“then, just like… if you don’t wanna answer, turn away or something.” minhyuk nods. changsub takes another sip through the straw and continues. “back then, did you, like… have a thing for eunkwang?”

 

changsub continues to sip on his drink as minhyuk stares blankly. “you… knew?” he ends up saying.

 

“yeah, i mean, it was kinda obvious to me. fortunately for you, i don’t think anyone else picked up on it, but you always like… bored holes right in the back of his head. at first i thought you were looking at me-” changsub takes another sip “-tryna pick a fight like some kids did, but then i realised you were looking at eunkwang. like, i ain’t the brightest kid, especially back then when all i did was sleep, fight, and talk, but you seriously weren’t that subtle.” he sips again, smacking his lips.

 

minhyuk stays silent, dropping his gaze down to changsub’s black drink. he figures it’s coffee — black coffee at that — and a part of him wonders how tough changsub really is. 

 

changsub speaks up. “why didn’t you confess to him, back then?” 

 

to that, minhyuk turns away. he doesn’t know exactly what prevented him from confessing, but he knows it’s probably another stupid excuse. changsub speaks again when he realises minhyuk has nothing to say. “do you still have a thing for him?”

 

“yep,” they hear. the both of them turn and see ilhoon standing in the hallway. he goes to them and squats down with changsub. “i didn’t hear everything, but if you’re talking about his secretary, then yes.”

 

minhyuk sighs and look up at the ceiling when ilhoon and changsub look at him. changsub sips from his coffee again. “you should confess to him this time then.”

 

minhyuk looks back at him. “what?!”

 

“confess to him!” changsub slams his drink onto the coffee table behind him. “look, he’s been working ever since the accident — he told you about it, right? and because of that, he hasn’t gone out with anyone because he’s turned into, like, a mild workaholic! you still like him after ten years and some, so ask him out! he’s pretty much in the prime of his life right now, he should get around to dating someone!”

 

“uh-”

 

“he’s right,” ilhoon interrupts, “i told you too, you should just do it. minhyuk, aren’t you known for being adventurous? you’ve been pining over him for years, whether you were aware of it or not, and if there’s anything about you that i know, it’s that you always work hard to get what you want. you don’t have to work hard for this.”

 

minhyuk gapes at them with a scoff. “you guys, it’s no big deal! i gave it a night and i’ll be fine! he doesn’t remember anything about me, anyway, so he’s not gonna-”

 

“then here!” ilhoon interrupts again “-how about this! i’ll give you three months to confess to him, and in that time you have to make the effort to get to know him and potentially get him to the point where he would accept!”

 

changsub claps a hand onto ilhoon’s shoulder. “that’s a great idea! now you have something to work for, minhyuk, a goal!”

 

“wait, wait, wait, you guys-”

 

ilhoon grabs minhyuk’s hands with both of his. “minhyuk, listen — don’t keep God waiting and do nothing.”

 

minhyuk looks at their hands. “you know, you were  _ totally _ indifferent about this last night.”

 

“i wasn’t  _ totally  _ indifferent, and neither were you, so just… take the chance!”

 

minhyuk stays silent again, biting his lip. ilhoon slowly lets go of his hands, and that’s when changsub puts a hand on his knee. 

 

“think about it — in three months time you could stop looking at the back of his head. he’ll probably appreciate it if you looked him in the eyes for once.” his hand slides away.

 

minhyuk looks down at his lap, his eyebrows furrowed. his heart hurts thinking about it, and he bounces his leg. eventually, he slaps his leg down and groans.

 

“fine! i’ll do it! three months and i’ll confess!”

 

ilhoon and changsub jump up and hug each other with a cheer. they pull away quickly and changsub grabs minhyuk’s hand. “you made the right decision.”

 

“now hurry up and get ready for work,” ilhoon shouts, “don’t keep your future man waiting!” he turns and shoves changsub to the door — he escapes for a second to get his coffee — both of them waving goodbye.

 

minhyuk sighs again and flops back against the couch. he gives it a minute before he pounds his chest and gets up, heading for the bathroom.

  
  
  
  
  


(( eunkwang wasn’t popular in the sense that minhyuk was, but most people in every grade knew him because of his high STEM scores. within their class, people knew him as friendly and ready to help, but otherwise kept to himself and his younger friend (changsub).

 

as a result, eunkwang always ended up being second place in their class rep polls — first place was always cha hakyeon, who minhyuk was actually friends with. the people who nominated eunkwang always said it was because he was “smart”, “generous”, “a people pleaser”, and “had leader-like qualities”. hakyeon always won in the end because he had the same things, but — minhyuk figures — also had more of a reputation.

 

minhyuk noticed, though, that eunkwang could’ve easily fit the role. eunkwang dropped erasers and pencils a lot, but was otherwise pretty organised. his presentations in class were also organised, almost sophisticated. he got tongue-tied a lot, but the way he laughed with the class at his verbal slips was healing, especially for minhyuk. maybe it was bias, but he thought eunkwang would’ve been just as good of a class rep as hakyeon.

 

of course, it could’ve also been because he actually wanted to see eunkwang’s face more often than just the back of his head, but details.))

 

when minhyuk arrives at the office, eunkwang is already there, scrolling through his phone. minhyuk stops and takes a deep breath remembering the morning’s (awful) conversation. “close” looped through his mind as he approached eunkwang.

 

eunkwang looks up from his phone when he notices minhyuk. “mr. lee!” he greets.

 

“‘mr. lee’?” minhyuk questions, turning straight to the door.

 

“mhm, we  _ are _ in the workplace. unless you just want me to call you ‘minhyuk’ all the time?”

 

minhyuk shoves the key into the door handle, taking another deep breath. “why not?” he says and turns to look at eunkwang as he twists the key, “we’re supposed to be getting closer, right?”

 

“you’re right!” eunkwang smiles and minhyuk turns the handle. he opens the door and rigidly gestures for eunkwang to go first. eunkwang nods in thanks and steps through the doorway, and minhyuk breathes in deeply again.

 

once inside, the two of them settle at their respective desks. minhyuk plops into his seat as eunkwang comes to his desk. “so, from now on, to start the morning off, i’ll brief you on your schedule for the day,” eunkwang says, “luckily there’s not much to do today, but you and i still have paperwork and planning to do, so it’s not going to be a boring day.

 

“at 10:30, you have an informal meeting with the rest of the advertising team. it’s informal, so i think it’ll be okay if you arrive at thirty-five or forty, but you wrote 10:30, so i guess that’s when you’ll be going. after that, at 12, you have lunch break with me-”

 

“wait, really?” minhyuk interjects, “did you schedule that?”

 

“yeah, i scheduled lunch breaks for every day you could, too. i don’t know about you, but i get really sensitive if i don’t eat meals when i need to, so it’s important to me. i don’t even know if you eat breakfast, but i think you’ll come to appreciate lunch breaks.”

 

“i eat breakfast…” minhyuk mumbles. eunkwang laughs, “well, i can move it to a little later, like 12:30 or something, if you ever need me to, but the plan is to get you to eat regularly! in any case, you have a follow up meeting at 3, also informal, and that’ll be it for today. as a side note, i’ll be attending any meeting you have to take notes. i’ll email them to you as soon as possible.”

 

“thank you… eunkwang.”

 

“no problem…  _ minhyuk _ ,” eunkwang lilts. “i’ll see you in about two hours, then.”

 

minhyuk lets out a small chuckle. “you work right in the same office, though?”

 

“yeah, but i can’t see you because i’m facing the wall. unless you need me, i won’t be looking at you.”

 

“that’s true, i guess. i’ll see you, then.”

 

“you’ll already be seeing me though? just not my face — you’ll see the back of my head.” eunkwang smiles big as minhyuk laughs a little.

 

“i’ll see your face soon, then,” minhyuk says. 

 

eunkwang laughs along and makes a small salute, turning to walk away. “close” begins to ring in minhyuk’s mind again as he watches eunkwang go. he calls out, “wait, eunkwang.”

 

“yeah?” eunkwang turns back to minhyuk. minhyuk feels his heart skip a beat, but continues.

 

“for lunch… do you… did you plan on what to have?”

 

“hm? no, but i think i’m feeling korean today.”

 

minhyuk lights up. “oh, cool, then do you know the tofu place on back on baxter?”

 

eunkwang brightens up and walks back toward his desk excitedly. “yes! that place is so good! they have really good hangover soup and really good rice porridge and they even have really good meat! i once got beef bulgogi there and it was absolutely amazing!! we’ll go there for lunch, yeah?”

 

“yeah, yeah, we’ll go, if you want to.”

 

“of course i do! okay, i’ll see you soon! i can’t wait!” eunkwang waves and turns back, walking back to his desk with a little skip to his step. 

 

minhyuk rolls his chair back and spins it opposite eunkwang’s general direction. he buries his face in his hands, feeling it heat up slightly.  _ ah, he’s so cute…  _ he thinks.

  
  
  
  
  


“i did it!” minhyuk shouts when he enter the apartment, “i am a functional human being!”

 

ilhoon slides the spoon out of his mouth and drops it back in his bowl of mac and cheese. he stares and chews as minhyuk comes over to the couch enthusiastically.

 

“exactly what did you do?” he asks.

 

“i talked to eunkwang on a friendly basis. we had lunch today!”

 

(( minhyuk managed to make conversation with eunkwang on the way to the restaurant, in the restaurant, and on the way back. he thinks that’s an achievement in itself, but making eunkwang laugh and smile the whole way through was a very generous bonus. ))

 

“that’s definitely something functioning human beings do,” ilhoon says, taking another bite of mac and cheese.

 

“right?! and then-”

 

“you know-” ilhoon places his mac and cheese bowl onto the coffee table, picking up his phone “-i’m just gonna give you changsub’s number so you can tell  _ him _ about it. i’m trying to have dinner.”

 

minhyuk pouts playfully. “you were basically forcing me to do something this morning, what happened?”

 

“i only did that because i tend to get caught up in whatever changsub does and also i didn’t want him to bother me at work to tell you to do it, so here-” ilhoon shows minhyuk his phone “-i texted you his number so please let me eat.”

 

minhyuk scoffs and hits ilhoon lightly. ilhoon sticks his tongue out at him as he picks his mac and cheese bowl back up. minhyuk gets off the couch and heads toward his room.

 

he flops down onto his bed, breathing in deeply. his phone pings suddenly, surprising him. minhyuk sees ilhoon’s text, but the new notification is from eunkwang. he unlocks his phone quickly.

 

**eunkwangie ☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆**

>> i rly liked the tofu place today !!!!

>> since i chose the place today u can choose tmrw’s place

>> tho i should warn u that i’m kinda a picky eater :P

 

minhyuk purses his lips, feeling like he’s back in high school again. he takes another deep breath and replies.

 

**minhyuk**

<< we can go back to the cafeteria

<< saves money and less walking distance

 

**eunkwangie ☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆**

>> oooo smart

>> we can switch orders this time !!

>> ok i’ll put it into ur schedule lollllll

>> see u tmrw !!!!!!!!!

 

**minhyuk**

<< u too!

 

the exclamation point felt weird, but it didn’t deter him much. he feels giddy more than anything. sighing through his nose, he texts changsub.

 

<< i did it i talked w eunkwang like friends and it’s progress!!

<< this is minhyuk btw

 

**changsub**

>> ik i saw u n him texting just now

>> ;))))

>> maybe u won’t even need three months

 

**minhyuk**

<< let’s not get ahead of ourselves 

 

**changsub**

>> lol

>> did u wanna explain in detail

 

**minhyuk**

<< yea hhhh

<< we talked a lot during lunch

<< like a Lot

<< and we talked when we were walking to the bus stop

<< and i feel

<< Really good about this

 

**changsub**

>> what did i tell ya

>> well ilhoon told u but

>> this is all a good chance

>> fate

>> aND I DID TELL U

>> both of u appreciate talkin face to face

 

**minhyuk**

<< oh yea definitely

<< is it weird to tell u i think hes super cute

 

**changsub**

>> uhhhhh yea

>> i’m his best friend n also hes not that gud lookin

>> but it’s ok

>> i’ll let u off bc this means gud things for both of y’all

>> ok i gtg he is askin me who i’m textin n i can’t have him kno we are in contact

 

**minhyuk**

<< why

 

**changsub**

>> reasons

>> k bye

 

minhyuk thinks about replying to that, but he decides not to. he locks his phone and lets his hand fall to the side. he starts to smile thinking about the day and the day after. ilhoon would probably tell him he looks dumb — he kind of feels dumb — but that doesn’t matter.

 

he gets up and heads back to the living room to join ilhoon on the couch to watch tv.

  
  
  
  


(( even though minhyuk went to a private school for high school, they didn’t have locker rooms. when it was time for p.e, he and the other students had to change in the classroom. it wasn’t uncomfortable, but it made him have to be a lot more open about being half naked in front of other people.

 

he also had to get more accustomed to seeing his classmates half naked, including eunkwang.

 

those times were the only times he didn’t blatantly stare at eunkwang. he forced himself to look at the ground or at the ceiling or at his friends’ faces. although, the few accidental glances he got gave him two things about eunkwang: he was 1) skinny and 2) pretty hairy. he also found out that eunkwang was the same height as him, though not through a glance.

 

one time he was changing his shoes, his friend had said, “ah, minhyuk, did you shrink?”

 

“huh?” minhyuk interjected. he stood up straight and looked up at his friend.

 

“you got smaller, how tall are you really?”

 

“i’m 5’10”?”

 

“really-” his friend stepped closer “-i must be 6” then. we’re usually around the same height, so i thought i was shorter.”

 

“usually?”

 

“it’s ‘cos minhyuk wears insoles,” another friend said, slinging an arm around minhyuk’s shoulders, “also our shoes have like half-inch heels.”

 

other friends started to gather around him, comparing their height to him. minhyuk sighed at everyone as they discussed his his height. he wanted to put on his shoes, but one of the others was holding them up. he decided to put on his shirt first instead.

 

“you know, our class is oddly tall,” 

 

“mhm, we’re all either around the same height or taller than minhyuk.”

 

“oh, but eunkwang’s probably the same height.”

 

at eunkwang’s name, minhyuk’s head popped out through the neck of his shirt. he pulled it down quickly.

 

“what?” he blurted out.

 

“yeah, we should ask. hey, eunkwang!” someone shouted.

 

minhyuk turned along with the rest of the class to where eunkwang would be. eunkwang stood there (mostly dressed, lucky for minhyuk) with a confused look. “yeah?” he asked.

 

“how tall are you?”

 

“5’10,” eunkwang replied, still confused.

 

“oh, then come here, let’s compare-”

 

minhyuk’s heart had started beating faster at the thought of eunkwang being close to him. but, thankfully, a teacher had come into the room to tell them to hurry up, and the students had dropped the subject, scrambling to finish changing. 

 

eunkwang had finished quickly, like always, and left without another thought. minhyuk put on his shoes with a muddled mind and followed minutes after. ))

 

in the next few weeks minhyuk begins to see a routine. when he gets to work in the morning, eunkwang is already there, waiting. he opens the door for eunkwang, they settle down, eunkwang briefs him, and they get to work. they continue to have lunch breaks together, — save for a couple days where minhyuk had a lunch meeting with colleagues — rotating between places around the street. they also walk home together every day. he keeps changsub updated when he gets home, and sometimes he opens up to ilhoon (if he’s willing) or peniel (if he’s home early). 

 

before he knows it, a month has already passed.

 

he already feels a lot closer to eunkwang and a lot more confident about his feelings. he can stand close to eunkwang and walk with him without any trouble. though, his heart still skips a beat when he sees eunkwang smile.

 

minhyuk wakes up to october after a nice dream, and it leaves him in a good mood, even if he was still a little sleepy. he heads to the bathroom and takes a shower right away. he hums as he showers, thinking about his plans for the day. he has work, of course, and freetime afterwards. maybe he’ll do extra exercise if he keeps being in a good mood.

 

when he finishes, he hears a knock on the door. minhyuk puts his pants on quickly, hanging his towel over his shoulders. he hears the door being knocked again.

 

“hang on, i’ll be out in a sec!” minhyuk shouts.

 

“someone’s knocking on the front door you gotta get it,” he hears ilhoon shout back. 

 

minhyuk sighs and opens the door. ilhoon ducks in quickly and shoos minhyuk out. he sighs again and walks towards the front door as he dries off his hair.

 

when he opens the door, eunkwang is there, dressed in his usual suit and sling bag. eunkwang opens his mouth to say something, but then he squints. 

 

eunkwang steps inside slowly and looks at minhyuk’s forehead. minhyuk doesn’t know what to say. a part of him is just glad eunkwang isn’t staring at his chest. suddenly, eunkwang looks to the side and says, “you! come here quickly!”

 

minhyuk turns and sees ilhoon looking confused as he shuffles towards them. he looks at minhyuk for an answer, but minhyuk just shrugs.

 

eunkwang toes his shoes off and steps further into the apartment. he turns minhyuk around and stands back to back with him. “check if we’re the same height! we are, right? right?”

 

ilhoon raises his eyebrows, but he looks closely at them. eventually he snorts. “yeah, yeah, you guys are the same height.”

 

“nice!” eunkwang exclaims, stepping away from minhyuk. minhyuk turns to look at him, and eunkwang looks really relieved. “i thought you were taller. not that there was a problem with that, but people are usually taller than me. ahh, it’s good to know we’re the same.”

 

“it’s cos he wears insoles,” ilhoon snickers, “also his shoes all have like half an inch to them.”

 

“ah, that’s okay. i used to wear insoles all the time, but then i got tired of having to put them in and take them out of different pairs of shoes, so i kind of gave up on them.”

 

“insoles just make my shoes comfier,” minhyuk huffs. eunkwang and ilhoon both laugh.

 

“among other reasons,” ilhoon says cheekily.

 

minhyuk punches him lightly in the shoulder. “anyway, what are you doing here eunkwang?”

 

“oh, right! today i got up earlier than usual, so i thought i’d swing by so we can go to work together! it took a lot of pestering, but i got changsub to tell me your address.”

 

“i see. oh, by the way, this is ilhoon, my roommate,” minhyuk says, gesturing to ilhoon.

 

“oh, nice to meet you! i’m eunkwang, minhyuk’s coworker!” eunkwang sticks out a hand.

 

ilhoon looks at eunkwang’s hand. “nice to… meet you. i’ve… heard a lot about you,” he says, taking eunkwang hand lightly. minhyuk can see the handshake was much more on eunkwang’s side. he also can see ilhoon side eyeing him, which he ignores.

 

“i still need to get ready, as you can probably tell,” minhyuk says, “so i’ll do that quickly. make yourself at home in the meantime.”

 

eunkwang says “okay” and gives him two thumbs ups and a smile. minhyuk feels even lighter at that and he smiles back.

 

he walks back to his room with ilhoon in tow. minhyuk sits on the bed as ilhoon closes the door behind him. he begins towelling off his hair again. 

 

“so,” ilhoon says.

 

“what?” minhyuk responds.

 

“he was eunkwang, huh.”

 

“yeah, he did say that.”

 

ilhoon pauses for a second. “you shoulda stayed in the living room a little longer.”

 

“why? i don’t wanna keep him waiting.”

 

“cos you’re shirtless, it’s perfect eye candy.”

 

minhyuk’s hands freeze. “that’s… that-”

 

ilhoon laughs, “your ears are all red, minhyuk. what's so different about being shirtless in front of me and being shirtless in front of eunkwang?”

 

“for one thing, i live with you, and for another he’s our guest, and for yet another thing, he’s the guy i… have a crush on so it’s…”

 

“embarrassing?”

 

“very much so.” minhyuk throws the towel onto the bed and gets up for the closet.

 

“you were shirtless in front of him just a minute ago, though.”

 

“yeah but i forgot about it up until i said i wasn’t ready yet. i don’t wanna keep him waiting, but it was also kinda an excuse to get dressed.”

 

ilhoon huffs, “you’re usually so shameless about your looks, but one guy changes it. i like what he does to you.”

 

minhyuk pulls out a suit from his closet. “what a weird way to put it… can you get out now, i’m about to change.”

 

“alright, alright, mr. i-don’t-wanna-keep-him-waiting,” ilhoon lilts. he leaves the room and minhyuk sighs again.

 

when he finishes suiting up, he finds ilhoon and eunkwang on the couch. ilhoon’s eating cereal while eunkwang eats a piece of toast. eunkwang sees minhyuk and waves him over, standing up.

 

“are you ready for work?” he asks, puffing out his chest. crumbs fall out of his mouth and stick to his lips, but somehow minhyuk finds it endearing.

 

“yep,” minhyuk replies, “let’s go.”

 

eunkwang takes another bite of toast and waves goodbye to ilhoon, who waves back shortly. minhyuk also waves, but ilhoon gives him waggling eyebrows. minhyuk turns away, hearing him snicker quietly.

 

“i like ilhoon,” eunkwang says as minhyuk closes the door behind him.

 

“that’s good,” minhyuk says, pocketing his keys.

 

“who’s your other roommate?”

 

“you saw him?”

 

“yeah, he went into the bathroom earlier. i don’t think he saw me, though, probably because he was half asleep.”

 

minhyuk chuckles. “yeah, that was peniel. he starts and ends work later than me and ilhoon, so he wakes up around the time i leave. he’s also the one who gets the privilege of using our only car, though ilhoon is saving up for another one.”

 

“i see. so that’s why you take the bus?”

 

“mhm. unlike me and ilhoon, peniel’s workplace is about half an hour away if you take the freeway, which is a whole lot farther than our five minute bus rides.”

 

“how considerate of you guys,” eunkwang says with a smile. 

 

“i guess,” minhyuk says, smiling shyly back. 

 

they keep talking as they reach the bus stop, and minhyuk’s good mood continues.

  
  
  
  
  


(( “i’ve been thinking,” minhyuk says, “you said you were a forgetful person, right?”

 

“yeah?” eunkwang replies around his sandwich. minhyuk waits for him to finish chewing before continuing.

 

“how did you get to be a secretary, then? aren’t secretaries supposed to memorise a lot of things?”

 

eunkwang puts his sandwich down and leans back in thought. “well, when i was first looking for jobs, i found that i had a habit for taking notes. like, i’d write anything i needed to remember down — on my hand, on a scratch piece of paper, anything. it helped me out a lot, and i’m also just good at memorising numbers. the first job that accepted me was a janitorial job, actually, but my application at my last job had been approved nearly half a year into that, so i’ve been a secretary since.” 

 

minhyuk takes a bite of his sandwich, humming. 

 

“why’d you want to know anyway?” eunkwang asks.

 

“no reason in particular,” minhyuk says after he swallows, “just curious.” he takes another bite. eunkwang shrugs and does the same. ))

 

it sounds creepy to say he enjoys watching eunkwang work, but that’s how minhyuk feels. as charming as eunkwang’s goofy smile is, his neutral expression is very handsome and makes minhyuk feel a different kind of heart burst. much better than just the back of his head.

 

as the days go by, he seems to pick up on eunkwang’s workplace habits. like, for one, how eunkwang always carries a post-it note pad. post-it notes are stuck all around his workspace with various things noted — dates and times, places, people, things like that. sometimes eunkwang rolls his chair towards minhyuk’s desk to stick a post-it note on it, rolling right back to his desk to continue whatever he’s doing. most of them are reminders that minhyuk already know about, but he takes the time to read them because he thinks eunkwang’s handwriting is cute.

 

another one would be how eunkwang always carries his sling bag with him outside the office. it also seems to hold any office supplies needed — a binder of extra paper, various writing utensils, eunkwang’s laptop and charger, a stapler, different kinds of tape and scissors, and more. minhyuk thinks the bag might be bottomless, but he doesn’t question its convenience. 

 

minhyuk also notices that eunkwang’s work voice has a different tone than his regular conversational voice. it comes out when he’s making a presentation or when he’s explaining the details of something, and it sends a shiver up minhyuk’s spine. 

 

eunkwang’s profile is also just nice to look at when he’s working. his concentrated face is somewhat of an eye candy for minhyuk. his indulgence in looking, though,can get him in trouble sometimes.

 

like now.

 

minhyuk is supposed to be holding a meeting to go over everybody’s proposals for their next project, but he’s very focused on examining and analysing the slope of eunkwang’s nose and is therefore preoccupied. 

 

“…-cludes my idea. mr. lee?”

 

he thinks it’s a very cute nose. it’s a little sharp-

 

“mr. lee?”

 

-but it has a nice angle. minhyuk remembers reading something in a magazine that said that nose angles are an important part of how attractive a person is-

 

“mr. lee? are you…”

 

-and, well, he guesses there’s some truth to it.

 

“mr. lee?!” a junior coworker next to him taps him on the shoulder, snapping him out of his thoughts.

 

“hm? yes?” minhyuk glances at eunkwang, whose eyebrows are raised in amusement. he looks back at the person who just presented. 

 

“do you have any feedback?” someone else asks him on the presenter’s behalf.

 

“i’m… yeah, i’m sorry i spaced out towards the end, but i was intrigued by the introduction, so i’ll look at your report again later. sorry, again, and thank you for your presentation.” he smiles sheepishly at the presenter, who nods and goes back to sit down. 

 

minhyuk looks back at eunkwang. eunkwang looks up at him, then looks around. “i think everyone who had a proposal has gone-” he looks back to minhyuk “-do you want to adjourn the meeting?”

 

minhyuk is slightly thrown off guard by eunkwang’s work voice, but he gets a hold of himself. “alright then, if everyone’s gone, then this meeting is finished. i’ll follow you guys up on the results later, so in the meantime, keep working hard!” he stands up in his seat. “if there’s any further questions or concerns, please see me individually. thanks, everyone!” 

 

he nods at eunkwang, and eunkwang smiles back, closing his laptop. they leave the meeting room first, everyone else following behind. minhyuk and eunkwang are halfway to their office before minhyuk hears someone call his name. he turns and sees one of their newer employees.

 

“yes?” he asks her.

 

“i… i didn’t actually get to… present my proposal….” she answers.

 

minhyuk’s eyes widen. he exchanges a look with eunkwang then looks back at the girl. “you could’ve stopped us if that was the case.”

 

“ah, sorry,” eunkwang cuts in, “i guess i forgot to account for yours. please excuse me.” 

 

“oh no, it wasn’t because i didn’t have enough time or that you cut me off it’s just that i…” she hesitates, “i didn’t…. i couldn’t make a presentation. i didn’t even turn in a report…” 

 

minhyuk makes eye contact with eunkwang again, both of them feeling surprised. minhyuk sees the girl hanging her head, looking down and away from him.

 

“it’s okay,” he says to her, “you must’ve had some off-days or been busy, it’s fine. you can turn in your report anytime this week, no presentation. just know that next time i can’t be as lenient, okay?”

 

the girl looks up slowly with bright eyes. she stands up straight and starts to stutter, “y-yes! i understand! thank you so much, mr. lee!” she nods and turns around, rushing away. minhyuk smiles.

 

eunkwang nudges his elbow. “ooh, what a cool and kind boss you are, mr. lee,” he teases. minhyuk scoffs, but eunkwang nudges him again. “you are! most bosses would turn her down and scold her harshly in front of her employees. in fact, i think ‘team leader’ is much more of an appealing title for you. sounds friendlier, like a camp counselor or something.”

 

minhyuk laughs at that and eunkwang does too. “it’s nothing, i just think kind words go a lot farther than harsh ones. and what about you? you were just about ready to take the blame.” that was definitely a heart-shock sort of moment, even if minhyuk wasn’t the one eunkwang was speaking to.

 

eunkwang nudges him again with a playful whine, “that wasn’t  _ that _ cool, you were a lot cooler.” minhyuk feels the tips of his ears getting hotter, but he laughs along as they start walking towards their office again.

 

“did you get everything in the meeting, by the way?” minhyuk asks eunkwang as he twists the door handle.

 

“yeah, i think so. i have to edit and proof it, but shouldn’t take too much time,” eunkwang replies.

 

“ohh, i like how you work,” minhyuk says.  _ literally, _ he thinks.

 

eunkwang winks and points a finger gun at him. “i’ll have ‘em done and emailed to you by the end of the day.” he smiles at minhyuk before turning towards his desk. 

 

minhyuk plops in his own seat, a hand over his heart. he takes inhales deeply and sighs, getting back to his own work. of course, eunkwang is distracting, being in the corner of his eye, but, like usual, he tries his best to put it off.

  
  
  
  
  


late october brings in the colder weather, and minhyuk and eunkwang scramble onto the bus for warmth.

 

“ohh, i’m  _ freezing, _ ” eunkwang says through chattering teeth, sitting down next to minhyuk.

 

“yeah, felt like my nose was gonna fall off from all the exposure to the cold temperature.”

 

“ahh, you know i’m really glad i live in this city.”

 

minhyuk laughs shortly. “what makes you say that?”

 

“the one thing i’m most glad about right now? the fact that the buses have  _ heaters _ — just heavenly — but also?” he looks at minhyuk “-i live close to my workplace, there’s some great food places around, i got a pretty generous pay from both my former and current workplace, and-” he places a hand on minhyuk’s “-i met you.”

 

minhyuk blinks.  _ where did that come from? _ he thinks. he thinks about taking a risk and saying “i feel that way too,” but he feels his hand being squeezed and then feels eunkwang’s cold cheek. eunkwang brings his other hand to his other cheek, closing his eyes and sighing. “how are your hands so warm, oh my  _ god, _ please keep them here for a little bit.”

 

minhyuk stutters out an “o-okay…”  _ not yet time for those kind of words, then,  _ he thinks. his hands are becoming shakier and sweatier by the second, but he luckily doesn’t have to wait long for eunkwang to release his hands. he sighs and rubs his face, which got significantly warmer than before (and not just because of the heaters).

 

they stay silent on the bus for only a minute until eunkwang speaks up. “hey minhyuk, i’ve been meaning to ask, what were we like in high school?”

 

“we? like what were we both like individually?”

 

“well, that, but also, like, how close were we in high school?”

 

minhyuk feels a pang in his chest and takes a deep breath. “well, uhh… to be honest, we…” he hesitates, “we weren’t very close. we talked a few times, but that was about it…” he pauses there, looking at his lap. 

 

he’s met eunkwang twice now. the first time he thought he was lucky the moment they met, and now this second time he feels he was only lucky after they had started becoming close. eunkwang said he was glad to meet minhyuk now, but minhyuk wonders if he felt the same back then. he’ll never know, though.

 

minhyuk breathes in and looks back up at eunkwang, saying, “i do know, though, that you knew all about me from rumours, but you had to tell me about yourself.”

 

“oh? were you popular in high school?”

 

minhyuk makes a coy expression. “perhaps…”

 

“ohh?” eunkwang chuckles, “then, please, enlighten me. what were all these rumours?”

 

“well, it wasn’t so much rumours as just being my reputation. i remember you called me… ‘soccer star’, ‘basketball star’, ‘dance club ace’, ‘baseball genius’, and…” 

 

“and?”

 

“et cetera.”

 

eunkwang’s eyebrows raise. “et cetera?”

 

“mhm. you didn’t bother to list all of the other titles i guess, and it’s not like i knew what they were since people didn’t tell me about them.” 

 

“i see… and what did i tell you about myself?”

 

“mm, well…”

 

(( “let’s start with birthdays,” eunkwang says when he and minhyuk take their seats on the bus, “i know yours is november 29th, but mine’s november 22nd.”

 

minhyuk takes a moment to count the days’ difference between them. “that really is a week’s difference, huh,” he says with awe.

 

“i know, right? and we kinda have soccer in common, though i don’t play it on an official team like you do. i tried to once, but i guess playing competitively just doesn’t give me the same feel as playing with close friends. too much pressure, i guess?” 

 

minhyuk nods. 

 

“an extracurricular i  _ am _ a part of though is choir. my voice is a little bit higher so i’m a tenor, and so is changsub — we actually go to karaoke together all the time to strengthen our voices, it’s one of my favourite things to do! but, you know, sometimes i have to stand in as an alto because i’m really good at hitting the higher notes. i still think i have a lot to improve on, but most people do, right?”

 

minhyuk nods again, starting to smile along with eunkwang. he vaguely understands the terms, but he’s just happy to listen along.

 

“my hobbies include video games and… video games. i guess singing counts as a hobby, but hobbies are things that aren’t really supposed to be passionate, right? so i wouldn’t count it. studying also isn’t a hobby, just something i have to do so i can get good grades.”

 

“mmm, so then,” minhyuk starts, “you’d be mr. eunkwang seo, a singing ace, a video game pro, and a STEM master.”

 

eunkwang laughs at that, making minhyuk smile wider. “i guess so.” ))

 

“...this and that.”

 

“what? aww why can’t you tell me?” eunkwang whines.

 

“because that was high school eunkwang. i’m getting to know the adult eunkwang now.”

 

eunkwang blinks, and minhyuk turns away when he realises what it was he just said. 

 

“that… was just cheesy,” eunkwang says slapping minhyuk’s arm playfully. he adjusts himself as he sits. 

 

minhyuk sighs and looks out the window. he think of another cheesy thought — how much colder would it be without eunkwang beside him now — but he shakes it off.

  
  
  
  
  


**minhyuk**

<< so i think

<< i’ll try to confess by the end of the month

 

**changsub**

>> like on his bday ???

 

**minhyuk**

<< yepp

<< so just a few more weeks

<< think i’ll be ready by then

 

**changsub**

>> wowwww

>> (☝︎ ՞ਊ ՞)☝︎

>> it’s gna be dam annoying when he comes home n starts runnin his mouth abt u after he accepts

>> but i support u 100% bc u can keep him from coming home ;))))

 

**minhyuk**

<< sshut up hfhdj

<< how do u kno he’s gna accept anyway

<< like not to be a pessimist but 

<< sounds like a dream

 

**changsub**

>> then it’ll be a dream come teur

>> true**

>> just trust me i think he’ll accept 

 

**minhyuk**

<< well i’m usually optimistic so

<< ig i’ll take ur word for it

 

**changsub**

>> as is right

>> good luck dude

 

**minhyuk**

>> d(￣ー￣)

  
  
  
  
  


“what would you want for your birthday?”

 

minhyuk brings up the question up in the middle of lunch. eunkwang pops his spoon out of his mouth. “you know when it is?”

 

minhyuk hums around his straw as he sips water. “was among the things you told me when we first met.”

 

“oh? you can remember something like that from so long ago?”

 

“it’s the 22nd this month right? i remembered when i looked at my calendar. i also just have your information on hand like i do with other employees, so of course i have that information.” actually, minhyuk remembers because he took note of it every year, but that’s not something eunkwang needs to know. 

 

“ohh, impressive, mr. lee. are you planning to get me something, then?” eunkwang asks, batting his eyelashes.

 

“maybe, if i can.”

 

“ohhh how exciting...” eunkwang’s eyes move up in thought as he bites his spoon. a part of minhyuk wants to snatch the spoon out, and another wants to punch a wall because of how endearing it is, but he restrains himself.

 

“i don’t think i really want anything,” eunkwang eventually says, taking the spoon and digging it into his bowl of rice. he takes a bite and continues, “i mean, there are things that i want, of course… but i don’t want you to feel like you  _ have _ to get them, you know?” he puts a piece of meat into his mouth.

 

“i don’t really mind. if it was something i couldn’t get, then i wouldn’t get anything for you.”

 

eunkwang laughs in a way that sounds like he’s crying. “so then i should just tell you, right?” minhyuk nods. “okay, i want… a keyboard-mouse set, a karaoke machine, uhh… oh! maybe a three-tier cake? and-”

 

“okay, i’m not getting any of that for you,” minhyuk laughs. 

 

eunkwang laughs along, “i thought so! i told you i didn’t really want anything! i’d be fine with anything you decided to give me, honestly. i’m a non-material man.” he puffs out his chest and flares his nostrils.

 

“sure you are,” minhyuk responds, making eunkwang chuckle in defeat and slump back “i’ll get you something for your birthday, just not anything you listed.”

 

“ooh, really?! now i’m really excited!” eunkwang smiles big and wide, making minhyuk feel fond.

 

“me too,” he says back with a small grin. he eats a piece of meat and sighs.

  
  
  
  
  


it’s finally eunkwang’s birthday and he has it all planned out. he woke up early to buy a bouquet of red, pink, and yellow roses to set the mood. he’ll give them to eunkwang at work as a birthday gift — along with a prewritten card with a simple but sincere happy birthday message — and they’ll continue with the workday, lunch break and all. however, he’ll invite eunkwang out to dinner — and hopefully he’ll say yes — and they’ll have a nice dinner (date) with romantic undertones. then, he’ll walk eunkwang home and confess to him on his doorstep (or somewhere like that) and it’ll be done and over with. 

 

(he also imagines that if eunkwang accepts, they’ll have a nice and short kiss under the moonlight — the high school post-date experience he’s always dreamed of, but that’s a big “if”. just being positive.)

 

as predicted, eunkwang is at the office before him. he hasn’t noticed minhyuk yet, so minhyuk hides the bouquet (and card) behind his back and takes a deep breath. he walks over to eunkwang.

 

“gooood morning!” minhyuk greets cheerfully.

 

eunkwang looks up from his phone with a surprised smile. “ohh, good morning! you surprised me!” 

 

minhyuk laughs shortly and gets his keys to unlock the door to the office, angling himself so that eunkwang doesn’t see the bouquet. he opens the door and lets eunkwang in first, following right after. 

 

he sees eunkwang settling at his desk, back facing towards him. minhyuk bites his lip and tiptoes towards him. eunkwang jumps when he taps him on the shoulder, making minhyuk chuckle. 

 

eunkwang turns around with a sigh, but he’s smiling. “what’s up with you today?”

 

“i like scaring you,” minhyuk jokes, “but also…” he bring the bouquet front and smiles shyly “-happy birthday… eunkwang.”

 

eunkwang’s mouth falls open and his eyes widen. he takes the bouquet in wonder, almost dropping the card and smiles in the most wonderful way. minhyuk feels his heart warm at his expression. eunkwang steps closer and minhyuk stays where he is.

 

“wahh, thank you so much minhyuk!” eunkwang says with his blinding smile. he examines the flowers and makes another awed sound. “these are so beautiful, and there’s a card too!” he shifts the bouquet to open the card with both hands and reads it.

 

((  _ happy birthday, eunkwang! i’m grateful for your assistance in the workplace as well as your friendship, and i’m really happy to have you around! congratulations on being a year closer to 30!  _

 

_ p.s. don’t worry, i’ll be there soon enough haha.. ㅠㅠ  _ ))

 

“oh yeah, when’s your birthday, minhyuk?” eunkwang asks, looking up from the card.

 

“next week, on the 29th. thought i told you?” 

 

“ah-” eunkwang holds up the bouquet with both hands, covering his face “-i guess i forgot, sorry! but i’ll make note of it right now! i should pay you back for all of this!”

 

minhyuk laughs, “you don’t have to-”

 

“but i do! this was so sweet, i’d feel bad if i forgot your birthday and never got you anything!” eunkwang hugs the bouquet and turns back to his desk to make a note on a post-it. minhyuk keeps laughing, but he doesn’t stop eunkwang.

 

“well, that’s all i have, so let’s get to work. i’ll get to my desk.”

 

“yessir!” eunkwang shouts, breaking into a laugh right afterwards. minhyuk follows suit, and he has a good feeling this is all going to turn out well.

  
  
  


“to be honest, i kinda wanted to go out to eat for my birthday, but the cafeteria’s nice too,” eunkwang says as they sit down at a table.

 

“you coulda texted me last night,” minhyuk replies.

 

“well i didn’t really have a mood for what to eat then, but it’s fine either way. the hamburg steak is good enough to satisfy me.”

 

“whatever you say, birthday boy.”

 

they dig into their meals, continuing to talk. minhyuk’s leg bounces up and down as they do, waiting for the right moment. when he sees that eunkwang is almost finished, he claps his hands.

 

“what was that for?” eunkwang asks, the clap having scared him.

 

“oh, nothing, was just a bug,” minhyuk replies.

 

“ew, here-” eunkwang holds out a napkin “-wipe your hands-”

 

the lights turn out suddenly, making eunkwang drop the napkin as he jumps again. he’s about to ask what’s happening until he sees something behind minhyuk. minhyuk turns around to see exactly what he was waiting for — a three-tier red velvet-coffee cake with brightly-lit candles sticking out of it.

 

he hears eunkwang makes a sound to show that he’s touched. “is this why you made me come down here to the cafeteria?”

 

minhyuk nods, though he’s not sure eunkwang can see him with the candlelight. “yeah, you can blow out the candles now.”

 

he feels proud when eunkwang blows out the candles and the lights turn on, revealing all the employees from their floor that pop out from various locations. it was everyone else’s idea to have a surprise like this for eunkwang, but minhyuk had suggested the cake. it’s definitely an addition to the day he’s already looking forward to.

 

the employees all greet eunkwang with a happy birthday, crowding around their table. he hears them all give him thanks and other short phrases explaining the event among other things. minhyuk watches as eunkwang laughs and smiles along, now adorning a party hat one of the employees put on him. his heart feels so full.

 

he thinks that if this event went well, then so will his confession. minhyuk continues to watch all his coworkers, his mood brought up significantly.

  
  
  


(( “you’ve already finished up?” 

 

“yeah, i guess i’ve just been on a roll today.”

 

“that’s good! i’ll finish up really quickly and we’ll go out, okay?”

 

“okay… actually, eunkwang?”

 

“yes?”

 

“would you… want to go out for dinner? when you’re done?”

 

“dinner?”

 

“yeah, like… birthday dinner.”

 

“ahh, seriously, you and everyone else are giving me so much for my birthday… ahhh… yeah, sure, why not?”

 

“alright!” ))

 

at dinner, minhyuk felt that the atmosphere had been enchanting. maybe it was the fancy restaurant and all of its red velvet decor. maybe it was how nice and slow the music was. maybe it was how eunkwang had seemed more serious, giving soft but earnest smiles, eyes scrunching up a certain way. 

 

maybe it was the way minhyuk, whenever he saw eunkwang, felt like he was falling for him all over again, heart bursting. 

 

whatever it was, it set the mood for their walk to eunkwang’s apartment. they had been talking throughout dinner and in the beginning of their walk, but the conversation faded out. they now walked in silence, the sounds of the city in the evening filling the air. 

 

with every step, minhyuk’s heart continued to pound. his breath came out in white puffs, and he thinks he and eunkwang have started to walk closer together for warmth. he looks up at the sky, the moon shining brightly and the few stars twinkling along. there was so much space between them, making them seem so lonely. minhyuk sighed, feeling sympathy for those stars. it’s perfect for him right now, really, going just the way he imagined.

 

“this is my place,” eunkwang says with a small smile.

 

“it really is pretty close to my apartment,” minhyuk responds, looking up at the building. somehow it gave off an exciting vibe, a little bit like eunkwang. he thinks it’s an odd thought, but fitting.

 

“mhm, the bus stop is right in between!” eunkwang sighs, “well, this has been a really good birthday! probably the most special birthday i can remember… thank you so much for everything, minhyuk.” 

 

eunkwang is smiling with his teeth showing, his eyes scrunched up but still twinkling. he probably shines greater than the moon or the sun or any of the stars in the sky, and minhyuk’s heart catches in his throat at the sight. he says, “it’s nothing, it is your birthday after all.”

 

eunkwang laughs a little at that, and minhyuk feels like his heart might just burst out of his body. “well,” eunkwang says, “i guess i’ll be going in now. see you tomorrow?”

 

“yeah, see you…” eunkwang smiles again and begins to turn around, but minhyuk shouts, “wait!” 

 

eunkwang turns back with a confused look. he gives a one-sided smile, “yes?”

 

minhyuk sucks in a breath. his mouth opens and he begins, “i…”

 

_ i like you. _

 

“i…”

 

_ i’ve liked you for a long time. _

 

“uh…”

 

_ you’ve been on my mind and in my heart for so long. _

 

“i, uh…”

 

_ i wish i had said something sooner. _

 

minhyuk licks his lips and gulps. as he looks at eunkwang, the city sounds start to fade out. the moonlight starts to dim and he can’t see them but it feels like the stars are getting farther apart. the air gets colder and his breath becomes shakier. his mouth and throat are dry as his heart threatens to come right up. he breathes in.

 

“just… happy birthday, again.”

 

he breathes out, and everything comes back in a duller colour.

 

“it really has been, thank you. i’ll see you,” eunkwang says with another breathtaking smile — as if minhyuk had any more breaths to take — and he turns back to his apartment, walking away.

 

“see you…” minhyuk says quietly, more to himself than to eunkwang. he watches eunkwang’s back disappear behind the apartment’s glass doors and another shaky breath comes rattling out. against the cold air, his face and chest feel burning hot, and he feel his eyes water as his shoulders shake almost violently. 

 

_ i like you. _

 

he takes another deep breath and relaxes his shoulders. he forces himself to turn away from the apartment and to start walking toward his own.

 

_ i wish i had said something sooner. _

  
  
  


minhyuk stares at his doorknob. he doesn’t know if it’d be better if he opened up to an empty apartment or to one of his roommates or both. he sighs, turning it anyway.

 

tonight both of his roommates are on the couch. they look at him when he opens the door. “oh, you’re back,” peniel says.

 

“you’re here too,” minhyuk says with a small smile, though he knows it doesn’t reach his eyes. he can feel ilhoon staring at him as peniel pats the space on the couch between them.

 

minhyuk sits, trying his best not to let his lips tremble. he sees that  _ about time _ is playing on the tv, and he briefly wonders why his roommates would be watching one of his favourite movies when they themselves aren’t particularly fans of that kind of genre. he then sees the irony of how they’re watching a movie where the two main characters get together in the end when his own life can never get to that point and starts to feel his shoulders shake again.

 

the movie pauses suddenly, and minhyuk is pushed towards peniel, ilhoon leaning against minhyuk’s arm. “did something happen?” ilhoon asks. minhyuk feels peniel’s arm wrap around his back, starting to rub circles here, there, and around his shoulders. 

 

“no,” minhyuk answers at first, then feels a hot tear fall out of his left eye. with a shaky breath, he says, “yes,” and closes his eyes, failing to keep any more tears from leaking out.

 

ilhoon lays his head flush against minhyuk’s shoulder, stroking minhyuk’s shaking arm as peniel continues to rub minhyuk’s back. they continue for as long as they hear minhyuk’s hiccups and feel him shaking.

 

it takes a long time for minhyuk to stop crying. when he does, he pushes up from peniel’s shoulder, feeling ilhoon leave his. his hands are still shaking, but his tears have stopped and his throat has cleared, so he should be able to talk.

 

“do you want to talk about it?” peniel asks.

 

minhyuk nods. “just… i’m really dumb.” the others remain quiet, so minhyuk continues, “this day was so perfect… the bouquet, the card, the lunch, the dinner, the walk to his apartment, everything-” minhyuk’s words get caught in his throat, and he tries to clear it up “-everything was so perfect and yet i… i couldn’t say anything… i was so close…”

 

another pause happened, then ilhoon spoke up, “you still have a lot of time.”

 

“and even if you don’t do it in the month of november, there’s still a lot more months to come. maybe you’re not yet ready to confess,” peniel adds.

 

ilhoon sighs, “yeah… i feel bad for making you feel like you have a time limit… sorry about that, so just remember you have a lot of time.”

 

minhyuk sniffs, “i know… i know but… if ten years weren’t enough, then what’s the point… i should keep trying, but it feels like i shouldn’t at all.”

 

a pause. “maybe it’ll come out when you least expect,” peniel eventually says, “you planned everything out today, right? but you’re not usually much of a planner, so maybe that’s why it didn’t happen today.”

 

minhyuk sniffs again as ilhoon says, “that’s true. just… it’ll be ok, minhyuk… let’s watch the movie? you really like this one, right?”

 

minhyuk nods with snort. peniel claps and stands up from the couch. “i’m gonna go get you my special bucket of ice cream, classic feel-better food.”

 

minhyuk smiles sadly, sniffling again. ilhoon starts the movie, and peniel quickly comes back with three spoons and a big bucket of ice cream, placing the bucket in minhyuk’s lap. a few minutes into the movie, when peniel and ilhoon have already taken a few bites of ice cream, minhyuk quietly says, “thank you guys.” he takes his first bite as peniel pats his shoulder and ilhoon huffs.

 

by the time the movie ends, minhyuk has probably eaten half the bucket. he thinks he at least won’t have only one regret in the morning.

  
  
  
  
  


**eunkwangie ☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆**

>> hey where r u : 00

 

>> did u get sick : ((

 

>> i’m at the office rn so i’ll ask the janitor to open the door for me

>> text me back when u can ; (

 

**minhyuk**

<< hey sorry sorry i

<< woke up really late today

<< i’m not sick so dw i’ll be coming into work

<< i’ll be there during our lunch break ? at the tofu place today

<< might look really crappy tho cuz i ate a bunch last night when i came home x.x

 

**eunkwangie ☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆**

>> it’s ok !!

>> can’t believe u still had room for more tho lol

>> bet u still look handsome

>> like always :P

>> see you soon !!!!

 

**minhyuk**

<< : )

  
  
  
  
  


time passed faster when minhyuk was feeling melancholy. ironically, it started to rain in the days after eunkwang’s birthday. he tried his best to act the same for eunkwang in that time, but his heart kept aching seeing eunkwang still being as bright as always. 

 

still, he believes in staying close to eunkwang. he was going to keep their current relationship, even if it doesn’t go anywhere.

 

before he knew it, his own birthday had come, and it seemed that eunkwang was happier about it than he could be.

 

“let’s meet on the rooftop for lunch today!” eunkwang exclaimed after briefing minhyuk for the day.

 

“but it’s raining?”

 

“yeah, but i have an umbrella! it’ll be fine! an exciting lunch for your birthday!” eunkwang was bouncing with joy, and, luckily, it passed on to minhyuk:

 

“i don’t know what you’re planning, but alright.”

 

and, soon enough, when lunch approached, eunkwang gave minhyuk a packed lunch and practically dragged him out of his chair. he led him all the way to the rooftop, and, with a key, eunkwang opened the door to it.

 

the sky was grey and cloudy, and everything seemed to have a duller colour, but eunkwang continued to be bright and excited. he leads minhyuk to a bench-like platform and plops the both of them down.

 

sitting on the platform, minhyuk could oversee all the other buildings in the area, as well as the cars rushing through the streets and the people walking around on sidewalks in the distance. he imagines it would be better if it were sunny or if it was nighttime, but either would only remind of him of the previous week. he takes in the sounds of the city, thinking it was nice to know today wasn’t perfect.

 

eunkwang clapped a hand on his shoulder, snapping him out of his thoughts. “hurry and eat, before it starts raining again! i have something for you after we eat!” 

 

minhyuk laughs a little as he opens up his lunchbox, catching eunkwang shoveling food into his mouth. for him, there was rolled egg, slices of fishcake, poorly rolled kimbap, and rice topped with pickled plum and furikake. he smiles at the thought of eunkwang making this for him, and his heart feels warm instead of panging. he tries to take his time eating, but eunkwang keeps gesturing for him to hurry.

 

it eventually starts to rain when minhyuk only has a few bites of rice left. eunkwang opens up his umbrella, scooting closer to cover both him and minhyuk and his food. minhyuk’s heart starts to hurt again, and he stuffs the last bits of rice into his mouth, chewing a little and swallowing prematurely. he feels it go down and takes a deep breath. 

 

eunkwang gestures for him to stand up. minhyuk does and begins to turn away, assuming that they were going to leave, but eunkwang grabs and spins minhyuk back around. they end up face to face, only an inch or two apart.

 

“eunkwang…?” minhyuk stares into eunkwang’s eyes as they glint with determination. it feels like the world pauses for a moment, but he continues to hear the rain starting to pound against the umbrella.

 

“i just want to… i want to tell you something!” eunkwang shouts, “but first!” he places the umbrella in minhyuk’s hand and backs out a few steps from under the umbrella. he gets wet pretty quickly, running back under after a few seconds. “mind if i join you under here?”

 

minhyuk’s eyes widen, his heartrate picking up. “you… you’re soaking wet.”

 

“you look familiar!”

 

minhyuk gulps, “yeah?”

 

“yeah! you know, weird thing to say, but i think i always dream about you! the truth is that i got into an accident where i lost all my memories from high school, but i always dream of this guy running under my umbrella, this umbrella, and we’re both in school uniforms and, well, right now seems to be like a case of deja vu, you know? i don’t exactly remember his face nor do i ever catch his name — i don’t even dream that often, but i’m sure it must be you!”

 

“o-oh, that… you must be…” minhyuk licks his lips with a dry tongue “-you must be eunkwang seo?”

 

“that’s me! so it is you!” eunkwang laughs and steps closer to minhyuk so that they’re face to face again. “another weird thing? the one thing i really know about the guy who runs under my umbrella is that i…” he takes a deep breath “-i think i really liked that guy. like i felt something for him. 

 

“and if it really is you, minhyuk, then i think it’s safe to say i fell for you all over again.”

 

the umbrella (the one eunkwang has been using for years, the same one with the yellow chrysanthemums that for minhyuk mean lost love and sorrow but to eunkwang mean found love and happiness) slips out of minhyuk’s hand. 

 

minhyuk’s lips tremble, “you…?”

 

eunkwang lets out a breath, a white puff forming and mingling with minhyuk’s own short, shaky breaths. “i like you, minhyuk, and… it seems that i always have.”

 

((  _ i like you. i like you so much.. i’ve liked you for a long time. i wish i had said something sooner. i like you. i like you i like you i like you. _ ))

 

minhyuk’s mind races. words pile up on the tip of his tongue and his fingers twitch, until he finally snaps. he pulls eunkwang in, crashing their lips together.

 

a shiver runs down his spine as he feels eunkwang’s lips against his dry ones, and when he tilts his head, their mouths move against each other for just a second before minhyuk pulls away.

 

their breaths collect together as one big white puff, rain still pouring. minhyuk would care more, but his mind and heart are still racing as he looks at eunkwang. he gently brings their foreheads together and takes a deep breath.

 

“i like you. i’ve liked you for a long time. i wish i said something sooner. i think i love you.”

 

eunkwang simply smiles and laughs in response, and pulls minhyuk in for another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> ufghfhgasfldfjsd i hope the ending wasn't too awkward :"""""))
> 
> honestly as i was writing this i kinda realised the kwang n min would prolly more likely be in reverse roles but meh i have this thing where i make one person love the other person So much bc i love them So much ddfksjdfalhsdfasd n i honestly kinda meant for peniel to have a bigger role but :"""")) still love my favorite jockkk 
> 
> anyway i hope u guys enjoyeddd my twt/tunglr is @differentdiff in case y'all wanna yell at me somehow


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